Favorite Logan quotes
1.05 You Think You Know Somebody
"Nice car. That must've been a huge cereal box."
1.07 The Girl Next Door
VP Clemmons: Mr. Echolls, may I have a word?
Logan: Anthropomorphic. It's all yours, big guy.
VP Clemmons: Your father has generously offered to donate a pair of boots for our school fundraising auction.
Logan: Not the ones made for walking? God, I love those boots.
Logan: They teach you manners in ESL?
Weevil: If I was gonna cheat, don't you think I'd pick somebody smart?
Logan: "If you was gonna"?
Mr Daniels: You know, the glow of your father's wealth and celebrity may be enough to sustain you through high school, Mr. Echolls, but do you know what it will get you in the real world?
Logan: Please say "high school English teacher." Please say "high school English teacher."
Mr Daniels: This is punishment, gentlemen, not party time.
Logan: Well, that would explain the absence of balloon animals.
Logan: Is this some kind of joke.
Mr. Daniels: No, Mr. Echolls, this is detention.
Logan: I meant the car.
1.10 Echolls Family Christmas
(to Weevil) "If you're asking me to the prom again, the answer is still no."
"Annoy tiny blonde one. Annoy like the wind."
"Ho, ho...hoe."
1.13 Lord of the Bling
Aaron: Have you heard from your sister?
Logan: She sent a telegram. Heartbroken. Stop. Can't make it back from Sydney. Stop. Underwater shoot starts tomorrow. Stop. Entire crew said prayer for mom. Stop. Love you. Stop.
Aaron: Logan...
Logan: Stop?
1.14 Mars Vs. Mars
"I'm pretty sure penicillin will clear that problem right up."
"What, so the girl with the pig arm can't bowl?" -Thanks, Sara
1.15 Russkie Business
(voicemail) This is Logan with today's inspirational greeting. "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt. Leave a message.
Logan: But if you're coming home, who will play Dead Hooker Number Two on CSI this week?
1.18 Weapons of Class Destruction
"Heads up, chests out, big smiles. Ready? okay!"
Dream on Jumpstreet, I'm not leaving you alone with her.
1.19 Hot Dogs
Trina: Pop Tart?
Logan: Hmmm, a Tart from a tart.
Trina: He of the sickle wit. Can I ask you something?
Logan: Hmm, would you look at that? There was a string attached to my Pop Tart.
Trina: I can't get him off my back.
Logan: Did you try standing up?
1.21 A Trip to the Dentist
Dick: Dude, what the hell are you doing? Please tell me this is like, some new reality show called 揗y Skank?
Logan: Goodbye, Dick.
Dick: What?
Logan: Get out of my house. You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something, I dunno. That抯 kind of a general invitation. If you don抰 like my girlfriend then just start heading toward the rectangle with the knob.
1.22 Leave it to Beaver
Lamb: I asked you a question.
Logan: And I ignored it and moved on. Keep up.
(Voicemail) You've reached Logan, and here's today's inspirational message. "Adversity is the diamond dust with which heaven polishes it's jewels."
2.01 Normal is the Watchword
Logan: He should feel lucky. I mean, you could be out here with some pretty-boy jerk just looking to get laid.
Veronica: Wait. What are you saying? You're not pretty?
Logan: Ah, what I'm trying to say is I'm in love with you.
"Hey, ah, can Dick and Beaver come out and play?"
2.02 Driver Ed
"FYI, if the cuddling is the best part, he didn't do it right."
2.03 Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang
(to Duncan) "Didn't plug her right the first time, huh?"
Duncan: Careful, Logan. You're exposing your soft underbelly.
Logan: My underbelly is rock-hard. It can go all night.
(Voicemail) "To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best." William M. Thackeray.
2.04 Green-Eyed Monster
"My day is complete. Veronica Mars has accused me of evil."
2.05 Blast From the Past
Duncan: Sure you wanna do this?
Logan: Does a bear wear a funny hat?
2.06 Rat Saw God
"Oh, wow, I'm stunned. You like me! You really like me! Well first, I'd just like to say the other, uh, nominees are all such wonderfully gifted criminals. And I wanna thank my agent...and my publicist, for always shooting me from the left side.
2.07 Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner
Logan: Seriously, though, I was reading "Third Wheel: A Beginner's Guide," and we should come up with, like, some kind of code word for when you guys are feeling frisky and, uh, don't want to be disturbed.
Veronica: Like "scram"?
Logan: I was thinking "awkward." But scram's good. Or "amscray." ...(Kendall arrives and goes into his bedroom)... My code word will be...endurance.
"You've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet!"
(Answering Machine) It's Logan. "Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late." Ben Frankin.
Kendall: That was perfect...Baby. Oh, it feels so good to be with you, I just want to be with you all the time.
Logan: Uh, bit of advice: when looking for a sugar daddy, at least pick the richest guy in the hotel suite...I'm sorry. Did that hurt your feeling?
Kendall: I can't believe you just said that to me. Doesn't this mean anything to you?
Logan: It does. It means I'm getting laid. And I owe your village a goat.
Kendall: You know, you can joke all you want. I know we have a connection, Logan. You know, it may have just started off as sex, but over these past few months it's grown into something more.
Logan: Wow. So, your feelings have grown as your available balance has shrunk. It's like science! One of the problems of sleeping with your stepson's friend: information tends to leak.
Kendall: I don't know if you've noticed, but you have a pretty good situation for yourself here.
Logan: Yeah.
KENDALL: You wanna go back to playing grab-ass with cheerleaders that have just mastered missionary? See ya. You want things to keep going the way they've been going, I'm gonna need a few things.
Logan: I'm sorry, "see ya" was option A?...Bessie, when the milk stops being free, I stop drinking it.
Kendall: Then what am I supposed to do?
Logan: Frankly, my dear...you know the rest.
2.08 Ahoy, Mateys!
Veronica: Oh, you're being a jackass. Must be an even-numbered day. I do so prefer the odd-numbered days when you're kissing my ass for a favor.
Logan: Well you find out why this plastic surgeon is trying to get me sent away for killing Felix and I will make sure that all even-numbered days are removed from the calendar.
"I've had a very bad year."
"Help me, Mars-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."
2.09 My Mother, the Fiend
"Oh yes, where are my manners? Kendall Casablancas, Trina Echolls. Rode hard, meet put away wet."
Weevil: We have something in common now: we both need to find out who killed Felix.
Logan: So what, we team up? Get matching capes, I ride shotgun in a sidecar?